"Never, ever sell yourself short. I want you to be able to look in the mirror at yourself 5, 10, 15, 20, 30 years from now and say, 'I gave it my best.'"No matter what may happen, no matter who you end up with, no matter the pain and suffering you go through, the rewards are better than you could ever have imagined."God, I love my Big Brother -- and I could hardly wait to be with my Toro tonight and share my soul again with him.Before I went over to Toro's apartment to start our date, Big Brother told me, "Get him dressed; it hurts. Even I know a plaid shirt doesn't cut it."He leered at me. "Besides, it'll give you a chance to see how hard his mattress is and how big your playground will be."I blushed again. I told him, "I never noticed how he was dressed. All I seemed to see are his eyes and his smile. And yes, I'll check out the bed."He had me twirl around once. "Janet, you look dynamite! He's gonna start drooling the second he sees you. Bring him by before he drools too much,. I had a secret. When I had sex with him, I exposed it. I'd had another lover in the UK. His name was Paul Grogan. He was the grad assistant who helped teach my biology class. In many ways Paul and David were a lot alike. Paul was very bright. He was also in good shape, but thin. The girls in my class all thought he was cute.We had gotten together when I came back from Christmas break. He had noticed how down I was after the breakup with Simon. Paul was just being a friend when he took me out for dinner. Somehow we ended up at his place, and nature took its course. Paul was six years older than I was. He taught me things. I fell for him, but then I found out he was engaged. I was appalled when he just laughed when I confronted him about it. He told me it was just sex, and I should accept that I'd had a wonderful time.I don't know why I didn't tell David. I think I was embarrassed I had let myself be fooled by Paul.Paul was so different in bed than David. With David, my inner animal.
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